#little late but hey look I'm dealing with some issues right now ok

[therealcocoshady]

Kinktober - Day 3 - Pet Play (Part 1)

Kinktober 2024 Masterlist

A/N : Hey guys ! I'm a couple of hours late for Kinktober Day 3 but here it is ! The prompt is pet play. I actually got really inspired by it and as it turns out, I got somewhat ambitious and it is a long one. I'm not done with it so I will be releasing it in two parts. That way, you can still have something to enjoy on the day of 🤭. Please mind that this is my personal take on pet play, which is informed by reading that I have done on the subject. This kink can look different depending on people's dynamic ! Anyway, I hope you enjoy it ❤️

Part 2

CW : pet play, implied d/s dynamic, soft domination, vanilla

« Honestly, I wouldn’t mind being someone’s pet ». Little did you know these joking words would be the end of you. 

You’d known Marshall for a little while. You had quite a few friends in common and, in spite of your age difference, you had become quite close. You namely shared a love for music and a questionable humor, as well as a knack for pushing the jokes a little too far. Everyone you knew said that the two of you had a chaotic duo energy but they had to admit that it was very distracting. It was all dark humor and banter. You always made fun of each other and you were never short on jokes that capitalized on his status as a lonely, single fifty something man with an hermit reputation. The age thing and relationship status were true. However, he was far from being lonely, or an hermit. Still, you enjoyed teasing him. You were spending the afternoon at his place, just the two of you, browsing through his cassette collection and discussing the latest hip-hop drama, when he made a snarky comment in passing about your recent breakup. Something about your relationships never lasting too long because of you being impossible. « That’s a lot of nerve for someone who’s been single for what ? Four, five years ? At least I’m putting myself out there. You should try that sometimes. », you clapped back. « I didn’t- I mean… You know. I’m just saying you don’t know how to pick guys that can actually handle you. », he tentatively clarified. « I’m not impossible », you argued. « For these dudes, you are », he hummed. « Whatever », you sighed. « Why don’t we focus on you, huh ? You talk as if you were such a big relationship expert buy you’re the lonely, single one. I still have a bunch of options. You, on the other hand…». He stared at you with an amused look on his face. « I’m all good, thank you for your concern, Y/N », he said calmly. You chortled and mumbled something inaudible, causing him to sigh. « To be fair, I’d rather be alone than have to deal with the whole relationship thing », he stated. « So… You don’t miss dating ? Like… You’re ok with the possibility of ending up alone ? » you asked with a raised eyebrow. 

«Yeah I wouldn’t mind some company but I don’t care about it that much », he shrugged. « Besides… Just because I’m not dating doesn’t mean I’m lonely. ». You hummed. Ultimately, Marshall’s dating life was none of your business. But as his friend, even though you sometimes joked about it, you didn’t want him to be alone. You knew him enough to know that, even though his family and friends kept his social life fulfilled, he could easily get into his own head. In truth, you were concerned. « How about a pet ? » you suggested with a smile. « I wouldn’t be a good pet owner, especially now that it’s just me at home » he chuckled. « I work too much. And I’m not sure it’d be too happy here ». You let out a giggle and looked around you. He had this massive mansion all to himself and you could definitely imagine a couple of cats or dogs living their best life. « Yeah, you’re right. Huge houses usually don’t make great spaces for pets » you said sarcastically. He shook his head and smiled. « Here’s the issue : if I want some live-in company, I’d need something as independent as a human being but as easy and docile as a pet » he chuckled. You hummed in understanding, thinking to yourself that this man was definitely too complicated. You already knew it but sometimes, it showed more. « Too bad it doesn’t exist. Maybe we wouldn’t have to deal with you being all cranky if it did » you joked. « I mean, it does. It’s just hard to find the right match » he shrugged evasively. « Huh ? » you asked with a raised eyebrow. « I mean, you know. Like… Different kinds of pets » he hummed. You still didn’t get it. You stared intently, waiting for him to elaborate. But he didn’t. « Like… robots ? » you asked. The question made him laugh, as if you had said some sort of joke. « I know you’re younger, but I didn’t think you’d be so innocent » he chortled. « Like what ? I really don’t get it ! » you defended yourself. « Like pet play, Y/N. That’s what I’m saying. Like… Real people being pets, it’s a thing». You ket out a giggle. « You mean people dressing up in the bedroom for some kinky shit ? » you asked jokingly. « I mean, yeah, that exists. But some people go kind of deeper than that. Even in non-sexual ways. They just have that relationship with someone, where they let go of tension, responsibilities, and they let the other person direct them and care for them ». You hummed, understanding a little better. In truth, you hadn’t really heard of that before. « So they’re treated… like an animal ? Like, they’re fine with being treated like a dog ? » you asked with your eyebrows furrowed. « Some people actually enjoy that. But it’s not so much about feeling like an animal. It’s just letting go, trusting someone to be responsible for your wellbeing. Like, they have rules, boundaries, and they can unwind ». You nodded, finding that it actually made some sense. « You seem to know a lot about this, old man », you teased. He shook his head and gave you an enigmatic smile. « I’m 51. I know a lot about a lot of things. ». You hummed again and chuckled. « That doesn’t seem so terrible. Honestly, I wouldn’t mind being someone’s pet. Maybe it’d help with the constant noise in my head. ». He stared at you intently and chortled. « Right. You. A pet. » he said mockingly. « What’s that ? You don’t believe me ? What are you saying exactly ? » you asked, falsely offended. 

« You’re an agent of chaos, that’s what I’m saying », he chuckled softly. « I’ve been friends with you long enough to know you’d suck as a pet. You just don’t have what it takes ». You crossed your arms, almost vexed by his comment. You couldn’t exactly deny being rather skilled as an agent of chaos, but there was no way in hell you would let him say you weren’t good enough. « You think you know me that well, huh ? », you challenged him. « Maybe I’m not the problem, you know ». He raised an eyebrow. « Meaning ? », he asked, as if to make sure he understood the implication quite right. « You heard me », you said defiantly. « You’re would suck as a pet but, really, you’re the one who wouldn’t have what it takes ». His eyes opened a little wider and he scoffed, shifting to an assured stance. « Is that right ? », he asked. « Oh yeah », you teased.  « You wouldn’t be up to the challenge ». There. You had said them. The magic words that, you knew, flipped a switch inside of his brain. In the few years you’d known him, you had come to learn that Marshall didn’t deal well with people doubting him. And, petty as you were, you didn’t shy away from using that against him from time to time. « You know what ? Let’s settle this. I’ll show you », he challenged. You froze for a second because laughing. « Show me what ? » you asked. « That I’m up to the challenge », he replied. « I’ll prove to you that I’d be quite skilled as a master. You’re the one who would not last a day ». Now, you were the one being provoked. You crossed your arms and tilted your head, gesturing for him to elaborate. « You try being my pet for 24 hours. We’ll see who lasts longer. You or me. Then, you’ll now if you’re terrible as a pet or if I suck as a master. Deal ? ». You stared Ito his baby blue eyes. 

« What’s at stake ? » you inquired with a raised eyebrow. « Honor », he simply shrugged. « That’s the answer of someone who knows he’s going to eat his words », you teased. He looked at you and let out a sardonic chuckle. « Alright, smart-ass, what do you want ? » he asked, seemingly dubious. « Amazing Fantasy #15 » you immediately replied. He let out a laugh and shook his head, as if you had just made a joke. You stared at him with your arms crossed, standing on business. « Do you even know how much this thing costs ? » he challenged. Only you did know how much it cost. That comic book was a rarity, a holy grail. One he kept somewhere in a safe and had always refused to let you borrow, arguing that you were way too clumsy to be trusted with the diamond of his collection. « Last one that was auctioned was sold for over three million. I know. », you answered matter-of-factly. « Though rumor has it that you paid a third of that price for yours», you added. « We’re not betting a million dollar-worth comic book over some stupid pet play joke », he warned. « Relax, grandpa. I’m not suggesting you hand it over. I just want custody of it for a week. », you said. « Two hours. With gloves and supervision. », he counter-offered. « Two days. Here. No supervision. I’ll agree to the gloves. Besides… I thought you were confident. Are you backing down, old man ? », you grinned. « Put some respect on your owner’s name, pet » he grinned as he extended his hand. « You got yourself a deal. But if I win, I want your imperial star destroyer ». You stared into defiantly into his eyes and shook his hand, determined to make him eat his words and win your bet. Not only were you a sore loser and you really wanted to read that comic book, but now that the most precious item of your Lego collection was at stake, you absolutely refused to let him win. « You’re not my owner », you said. « Not until next weekend, that is », he replied with a grin. 

The two of you had agreed that the bet would start on Friday evening at 8PM and that you’d have to be a docile pet for a whole 24 hours. You’d spend the weekend at his place, which wouldn’t be the first time, since he often had people over. You hung out with him often and you’d stayed over in the past. His huge mansion was the perfect place for entertaining people and he tended to take advantage of that. In the preceding days, you had done research on the pet play dynamic, trying to figure out what you should expect. It appeared to be quite a spectrum, with various roles and possibilities. You had agreed to leave the details to Marshall and, although you inherently trusted him, you sort of counted on him to be an asshole to some extent. That being said, you’d previously had a conversation regarding limits, so you knew he was aware of things you absolutely wouldn’t agree to. He was one of your closest friends and he knew you pretty well anyway. That being said, you were a little curious as to what he had planned. Knowing him and his knack for making fun of you, you almost expected pranks. You wouldn’t put it past him to have dress you in some silly outfit and have you eat from a dog bowl.

When you arrived at his place, you greeted him with a hug, as usual. He took your bag and you went to sit on the couch. « I’m surprised you haven’t already bailed » he gently teased. « You know I’m not a quitter, Mathers. Besides… I really want to read that comic book. » you replied with a grin. He hummed and moved a little closer to you. « So, we’re doing this, huh ? » he asked. « Unless you already want to-» you began. « I’m good, pet » he cut you. « Let’s see if you can handle it for a day ». You looked at him defiantly, willing to show you were absolutely not willing to back down. « Bring it on, old man. Whatever you have planned, I can and will handle » you said. He chuckled and walked to fetch something from a drawer. « I figured you’d need something to fully get into it » he said with a grin as he handed you a collar with a little bell on it, as well as a pair of clip-on cat ears. You gave him a side-eye. You knew he would do something corny like this. Still, you weren’t one to fold, so you immediately put them on. « How do I look ? » you asked. « Pretty cute » he admitted. « So, we’ve established that I’m going to be a cat ? » you asked. He shook his head and shrugged, as it it didn’t really matter. «Pets don’t talk, now, do they ? », he asked with a playful grin. « So be a good girl and shut up unless I ask you something or allow you to speak, alright ? », he added. You pursed your lips and stared at him, tempted to run your mouth, but you ended up nodding, not without a slight eye-roll. He chuckled and cupped your jaw, stroking your cheek with his thumb. « Good girl », he softly praised. « And since I’m nice, I’ll pretend I didn’t notice you rolling your eyes ». You were used to having physical contact with Marshall. As a friend, he wasn’t one to be stingy with hugs. But this was different. It was caring and warm and intimate. You sort of liked it, though. As innocent as it was, it sent some kind of warmth through your body, the way he had gently cupped your face and asserted his dominance. He took you to the movie room, suggesting to watch a movie. You figured the weekend and that stupid bet might turn out to be enjoyable. After all, lounging in a lavish mansion, with the promise of being taken care of didn’t sound like a total nightmare. Even if that implied remaining silent and surrendering to someone else. You walked to one of the couched but, before you had the chance to sit, Marshall cleared his throat. « No pets on the couch », he hummed. You immediately gave him a side-eye, although you remained silent. You stood there, watching him. « Don’t look at me like that », he chuckled. « I’m not a monster. I’m not going to make you sit on the floor. I actually got you something ». He went to a corner of the room and brought what resembled a dog bed. Only, it was human-sized and seemed rather comfy, almost luxurious. He positioned it next to the touch and gestured to it, a smile tugging at his lips. « Did a bit of shopping, this week. Wanted to make sure my pet had everything she needs. What do you think ? », he asked. Judging by his smile, you could tell he was pretty proud of himself. Apparently, the collar and the corny cat ears were not enough and you wondered what else he’d bought. « Are you serious ? » you asked. « Are you backing down already ? » he playfully retorted. « Not at all. This looks… Fine, actually ». You kneeled and took place on the dog bed while he sat on the couch. To your surprise, it was one of the comfiest things you had ever sat on, and you almost automatically curled up on the soft fabric as Marshall stared at you with a smile. « See ? ». 

You silently hummed and he picked the movie, opting for some classic comedy, one genre he actually knew you liked. You settled, a little bit apprehensive. Calm and focus had never been your forte and, as much as you enjoyed lounging in front of a movie, knowing you had to be obedient was a little challenging. You were starting to get antsy and fidget a little and Marshall seemed to pick up on it. He gently placed a hand on the top of your head and traced small circles with his fingers. « Relax, pet. Just focus on the movie and ease up ». You hummed and tried your best to ease the tension of the past week. It had been stressful at work and you could feel it in your neck and shoulders. As soon as he saw you stretch your neck and shoulders, he placed his hands on your trapezius muscle region and gently started to massage. You closed your eyes and hummed in approval. « Better ? » he asked softly after a few minutes. « Yeah, thanks » you replied with gratitude, thinking that he wasn’t too bad when it came to caring for someone. « Good. Now just focus on the movie », he directed. You turned your head and focused on the screen. After a while, Marshall got up and left the room, only to come back after a few minutes with some snacks and water. « I know you never drink enough water or really eat when you’re working. Time to hydrate and eat. » he commanded. You looked at him with an appreciative smile and did as you were told. There was something freeing about all of this. You had thought the whole thing would be somewhat gimmicky, but he had actually anticipated your needs. He seemed kind of serious about this bet.  When you were done with the water bottle and the snacks, he gently patted your head. « Good », he gently praised. You gave him an appreciative smile and turned your attention back to the movie as his fingers kept on stroking your hair. Slowly but surely, the noise in your head started to quieten and you began to let go of all the tensions of the past week. In the back of your mind, you knew you were safe, with someone you trusted and felt safe with. When the movie ended, you were in some kind of zone, fully relaxed for the first time in ages. You knew where you were and yet, at the same time, you felt a little hazy. « All good ? » Marshall asked. You simply nodded with a soft smile, something different than usual in your eyes. You were usually in pocket rocket mode, especially around your friends. They were used to your erratic, sometimes chaotic energy, and how you never really stopped talking or fidgeting. No one was really used to seeing you calm and silent. Not even yourself. You could see Marshall smile and he extended a hand for you to get up and grab. « Time for bed, now, pet. I know you had a long day. You need to rest. ». You nodded again and followed him upstairs while he carried your bag. You expected him to drop it in the guest bedroom where you usually slept whenever you stayed over, but he seemed to have other plans in mind. He smiled as soon as he picked up on your confusion. « Pets sleep with their owners, now, don’t they ? » he said with a low voice that sent shivers down your spine. 

[lexxierave]

When Fate Intervenes- tasm!Peter Parker x Reader Part 7

[Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3] [Part 4] [Part 5] [Part 6]

You missed class. 

You just couldn't find it in yourself to go after last night. 

You didn't want the stares that would come with your newly forming bruises or have to explain them. 

You didn't want to feel like being a zoo exhibit even if that was an exaggeration.

So you emailed your professor late last night, telling him you came down with something suddenly but that you would submit your paper to him by the end of the day tomorrow.

Which means you had all day long to work on it since your work called and cancelled your shift due to last night's incident.

You sat at your desk after slowly rolling yourself out of bed. Glaring at your empty document program. You still could complete your paper last night.

You could swear it was mocking you at this point but every time you tried to write something about Peter it just didn't seem right. It was either too much, or not good enough.

In the end you deleted everything you wrote down hoping to start again in the morning with a fresh mind and a basic pros and cons paper. Only now it seems like the little bit of sleep you did get didn't do anything to help you. 

After a few hours of trying to finish the second half of your paper your stomach started to rumble giving you the cue that it was time to eat. So you decided to take another break this time in hopes that food would help more than sleep did.

Why was writing down Peter's flaw so hard? He had one just like everyone else does, so what's the big deal? Why couldn't you pin it down into a one page paper and be done with it?

Because you were afraid. Afraid that if you did you would lose the only time you got with him. And suffice to say you've kind of started to enjoy your time with him.

As if summoned, your door buzzer went off. 

Who could be visiting you? You don't have any friends here. 

You curiously walked over to the intercom and hit the button.

"Yes. Hello?" You called out.

You weren't sure who it could be. You weren't expecting any packages and you had no friends in the city so whoever could be on the other end could be anyone.

"Hey y/n, it's Peter. Peter Parker. From Physics class." Peter's voice created your ears.

Peter? How did he know where you lived? And what was he doing here?

"Ok…what are you doing here Parker? And how do you know where I live?" You slowly questioned.

"Mr Hertz asked me to drop off some of your homework and to check up on you. I swear I got your address from him." He explained, sheepishly. "I didn't stalk you or anything. I swear!"

You could imagine him rubbing the back of his neck or readjusting his glasses, nervously. Something you noticed he did when he talked to you. Something you found a little cute when he did it.

You absentmindedly had a small smile thinking about it.

"I'm fine Parker. Look, why don't you come up? I can buzz you in." You offered him.

"Oh. Umm…that'd be good." Peter said.

He could get in the building on his own but he'd rather not tell you he lived in the same complex as you. A floor above as a matter of fact. It was best if you stayed at a distance and knew as little about him as possible.

He couldn't risk you getting hurt or put in danger again.

You hit the button unlocking the front door of the building, not knowing that Peter already opened the door on his own.

Peter took the stairs, knowing the elevator had a tendency to break down randomly. 

You paced by your front door nervously biting your lower lip. 

The issue you felt about Peter returning and the thought of your paper returning to you.

Your thoughts were cut short by the knock at your door.

"Who is it?" You asked.

You knew Peter was on his way up but you were still going to make sure it was him on the other side.

"It's Peter." The voice on the other side of the door called out.

You unlocked the door and opened it to reveal Peter. He looked a little disheveled. His face was a little bruised up and his lip cut. It looked a lot like he had lost some kind of a fight.

"Oh my God! Parker what happened to you?!" You exclaimed at the sight of him.

Your hand reaches out to softly touch his bruised face.

Peter relished in your gentle touch. Subtly leaning into it before coming to his senses again.

"Oh this? It's nothing." He tried to reassure you as he reached up and removed your hand from his face.

Already he missed your touch.

"Parker, don't lie to me. You look a mess. Come in and let's put some ice or something on it." You told him, "I think I have something to help speed up the bruising process too."

"You really don't have to worry about it." Peter tried to tell you but you already walked further in your apartment to find whatever it was you needed for him.

So Peter walked in and started to look around. Peter noticed you had your laptop out and opened and his curiosity got the better of him. He walked you and took a peak at what was on it.

It was the paper about him.

He was surprised by what you had started to write out. 

You told him you were going to write about his inability to notice basic things but this paper said nothing like this. 

It was actually quite flattering. So much so that Peter started to blush a little by the compliments you gave him.

He pulled away from the computer when he heard your footsteps coming back 

"Found it." You called out before entering the room.

Upon looking at Peter you noticed the gust of pink on his checks.

"Peter, are you ok? Do you feel warm?" You questioned him.

Peter blushed even harder, from embarrassment this time. 

He didn't realize he was blushing but when you walked up and put the back of your hand against his forehead he didn't stop you.

"Well, you don't feel too warm so that's good. And I found the bruise stuff." You informed him.

He smiled at you and something in you felt warm too.

Part 8

[millenialfanfictionaddiction]

Hey! So… it’s been a rough week for me. Very overwhelming and just very in my own head. And I was wondering if I can do a live action or a request? Not sure which it would be! lol I’ll let you choose because I’m happy with whichever! But I was thinking how the MSBY team or the Team Japan would react to their manager having a rough day and than crying in front of them. Lmao 🤣 I feel in MSBY none of them are going to know what to do, and just them running chaotically around trying to figure out what to do. Or in team Japan basically the same thing except I feel like possibly a couple would maybe. And than there Iwaizumi throwing volleyballs at everyone. 😅 lol for some reason though crying makes grown men unable to function! Lol but maybe it ends in a group hug? Because I absolutely need a group hug from anyone but if it was them, I feel like my bad week would just melt away. But you don’t have to do any of that! And if that’s a lot I’m sorry! Hope I’m not bothering you or anything! ❤️

Ok first off, I'm so sorry you had a rough week! Seriously bad weeks just make everything freaking awful. And I know saying this sounds cliche but things do get better 🥰

And you know what, we are going to do Team Japan for this one because I haven't written them in a while and I'm feeling like only Iwaizumi Hajime, 27, athletic trainer can fix this 👏🏻

There's not need for the picture I'm just feral for them 🥰

Ok so picture this 🙌🏻

It's been a freaking day. You woke up late, spilled coffee/preferred morning beverage on your clothes, hit your knee on the table, locket yourself put of your apartment and missed the train to work. Then on your way into work, you dripped and skinned the knee that you hit this morning so legit your life is just in the toilet rn 🥺

You are already on the verge of tears when you walk into the gym and you are greeted by Atsumu and Kageyama, both who have issues that NEED to be remedied right now 🙄

"YN where is the nail care kit?" Atsumu says practically running you over.

"YN it wasn't where you left it and you know we can't find anything! We're men YN not professional organizers!" Kageyama says now shouting.

"Seriously YN the one thing we need and we can't find it"- Atsumu 🙄

You rn 👉🏻😐🥺😭😫 literally just standing there bawling your eyes out, full on ugly crying, snot and tears rolling down your face

Kageyama and Atsumu rn 👉🏻😐😳 oh crap!

Iwaizumi and Aran aren't even in the gym but their YN sense are going insane. They run 🏃‍♂️ to the gym

You are now standing there, crying frantically while Atsumu and Kageyama try to get to you to stop

"YN please, please it's ok! Please don't cry! The nail care kits can wait"- Atsumu

"Well for a little bit they can"- Kageyama

Sakusa, Hakuba, Suna and Hyakuzawa enter the gym, Suna and Sakusa immediately blame Atsumu for everything 😅

Hinata and Bokuto are now crying with you, we have no idea where they even came from

Ushijima and Korai are just like 👉🏻😳 umm should we do something

Yaku and Komori are trying to calm you down

"YN hey its ok"- Yaku

"But-but it's-its not ok-ok"- you 😭😭😭😭

Iwaizumi and Aran BURST through the gym doors

Literally they probably broke the doors down 😬

Iwaizumi sees you crying and oh he's P I S S E D

"You idiots have 5 seconds to tell me what happened before I hurt every single one of you"- Iwaizumi 😡

Say less 🥵

"YN what happened?" Our king Aran 🥰

"Today has just sucked and I've only been awake like 4 hours" you, now crying into Aran's arms

The guys 👉🏻 🧍‍♂️ 👀

Please they aren't use to dealing with these kind of emotions YN

"Hey YN it's ok, we all have bad days"- Komori now rubbing your back

"Yeah at least you didn't wake up looking like Atsumu"- Suna 😏

Atsumu 👉🏻 excuse you 😃🔪

"YN what can we do to make you feel better?"- Ushijima asks

"Can- can we do a team hug?"- You 🥺

"How about I buy you cat YN?"- Sakusa, literally willing to do anything else

"Mmm I'm not big on hugs YN"- Kageyama

"I'll give you a hug YN"- Bokuto and Hinata literally leaping towards you 🤩

Th rest of the team comes in for a big group hug

Iwaizumi is standing on the outside like 👉🏻 you better GET THE HELL in the group hug right now 😠👊🏻 🏐

Sakusa and Kageyama 👉🏻 🙄 fine YN but this is your Christmas and birthday present

You rn 👉🏻🥰🥰🥰 worth it 🥰🥰🥰

[bonniemdiaz]

There are a lot of things I wish people understood about the trauma of narcissistic abuse.

First the person going through the abuse doesn't even know they are going through it til it's too late. Your now trapped in a nightmare. When trying to explain to people what was happening and expecting them to understand they don't. And I come off crazy with people looking at me like "your exaggerating, it wasn't that bad or you would've left sooner." But that's where everyone is wrong. Dead wrong.

A person being abused in a narcissistic, sociopathic and psychopathic relationship will actually do the complete opposite and cling to the abuser stronger than before.

In some small dark corner of their brain they will have a tiny voice whispering "this isn't right. Your in danger. They don't care about you. Run!" But then the majority of their mind is rationalizing abuse. It's called cognitive dissonance. The brain is so abused by this point and so lost and manipulated that it rationalizes ways to stay even though it hurts. Why? Because you feel bad. Or your afraid it'll anger your abuser. You'll even feel sorry for THEM because your brain rationalizes it and calls you thinking about abandoning the abuser wrong.

"That's wrong, I love him, he needs me, everyone else always turns on him, his own family did that to him, he doesn't really have real friends, don't be another person in his life that fails him." So you stay because it's in your nature to love and feel compassion for people in pain.

But it's a trick. The narcissist, the sociopath, the psychopath preys on that part of you. See they can't feel shit! They don't know pain because they'd have to know love and they don't know that either because their brains are incapable of understanding emotions. They are very much aware of what they are doing to you and that it's wrong but they don't care. Because of this they can't even actually love their own children.

To the outside world everyone believes he loved his kids. Will do anything for his kids. But that's a damn lie. It was just words with little to no action at all. See it's the idea of being a great dad to the outside world that he loved to show off because it would make it that much harder for people to believe me when he finally got thru with what he was doing to me.

For the sake of minding your own business. Or not getting involved. Or staying out of it. Or even just because he was your friend. I know people knew more about him than they were telling me. That he had cheated before in the past. Or that he was fucked up. Or he was on meds. Or whatever.... Nobody said a word about it for the sake of staying out of it. I get it. I do...but it was wrong...Now granted very few of you did say something and for that thank you. Believe me your words rang in my mind but it was several yrs too late. I was trapped by my abuser and he turned my own mind against me by then.

I suffered alot from his abuse. And even though I left, my traumatic bondage to him sucked me back in and I came home.

It's easy to leave a guy because they're not doing what they're suppose to. It's easy to leave a guy because he cheats all the time. It's easy to leave a guy because you ain't into it anymore. It's easy to leave a guy because he's a slob or he neglects you or he's this n that. Normal break up issues makes it very easy to leave. But dealing with a narcissist, a sociopath, or a psychopath.. or in my case a bit of all 3 because the symptoms are so close yet he had all the symptoms of each class... It's not fucking easy at all.

Trying to explain to some of y'all in a short "hey how ya doing" type question is going to make me look crazy because part of my fucking damage is words escape me. Thoughts disappear almost as quick as they come. Then social anxiety kicking in at max speed because then you respond with "oh you'll be ok. Or just try to focus on you and the kids, or just move on now it's over with don't dwell on it." Those statements are actually severely dismissive and actually even harmful to someone who is fresh out of that abuse. Like me right now.

Don't you think I would if I could??? My brain is trying to play catch up to 7 years of mental mind manipulation fuckery that it's running in overdrive hence the fucking anxiety and panic attacks. Please don't ask me how I'm doing if you really don't care to know because I'm not doing... I'm actually stuck in a fucking fog, a haze of WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED TO ME???

I try to step out of my apartment and hold a decent conversation with people... On the outside you might see a mumbling person who is a fraction of my former self. But on the inside I'm screaming and frantic and scared that someone is going to blame or shame or judge me. I'm socially awkward and have no idea how to pull myself out of it. I research and research and the ONLY thing that helps me calm myself is seeing all the research saying and repeating to me all this is normal for someone like me. That these are all signs of trauma Bonding, manipulation, PTSD, CPTSD, anxiety, Stockholm syndrome. All of it I'm going through is fucking normal.

I'm scared to talk to my friends and to be on fb because I feel like I'm being judged. And even though you may not be doing that. Even though you all do care to some sort of extent my mind is so crazed that I don't trust it anymore. That I need to protect what little is left of me. But even feeling like that is normal. And yes I know I need therapy. But see I'm dealing with all these different legal things and having to make moves to situate my kids and my family now because I'm also still a single mom. That I'm left with no time, and having to figure my trauma out by myself while maintaining a "normal" single parent life. Because hey.. I'm not the only one out there dealing w some shit and has kids. Right?

Contrary to what you might think surviving narcissism and surviving almost being killed in front of my kids isn't actually normal. To encounter narcissistic abuse and survive is actually the hardest thing to do because narcissism, sociopathic and psychopathic abuse are the worst and most dangerous forms of abuse anyone could encounter. And can even be deadly...and gets worse than that when you have children with them.

[verobatto]

Destiel Chronicles

(Vol. XIX)

It was a love story from the very beginning.

Tell me the Truth

(6x04/6x05/6x06/6x07/6x08/6x13)

Hello my dear! How have you been? I'm here with another volume from this Chronicles.

This time I want to talk about the truth as a recurrent topic in the first half of this season.

I'm gonna mix some bi Dean concept too, this will be mostly a Dean centric meta.

O want to give thanks to my friend @agusvedder , she couldn't make me the gifs for this meta but we discussed a lot about this topic. Thank you girl!

Let's start...

Saying goodbye to Lisa and Ben

Ok, I will collect here an amount of observations I made in several chapters in which we can see Dean breaking up with Lisa and Ben as his family.

In episode 6x06 Live Free or Twihard , calling back to 6x02, we had Dean feeling himself a monster and becoming one.

At the beginning of the episode, the Winchester brothers went to investigate to a house, a girl's room, vampires fan. Dean found a book and this is what he reads...

DEAN. Look at this. He's WATCHING her sleep. How is that not rape-y?

This is very significant because when Dean is turning into a vampire, he decided to go visit Lisa and Ben to say goodbye... So when he arrives, he just stays there by Lisa's bed watching her sleep. As a real monster. After this we all recall he pushed Ben violently and ran away. This was the beginning of the end.

In episode 6x06 "You can't handle the truth" written by Sera Gamble, even when it was a very Wincest episode, it had a very interesting topic about ASKING THE TRUTH YOU CAN'T EFFORT.

And related with Lisa here, he called her, and because he had asked for the truth, he receives the truth from her. A very hard one. She snapped at him this...

LISA: You've got so much buried in there, and you push it down, and you push it down. Do you honestly think that you can go through life like that and not freak out? Just, what, drink half a fifth a night and you're good?

DEAN: You knew what you signed up for.

Dean is excusing himself with her, she knew, he's like this. He won't change. Hunting is his life.

LISA: Yeah. But I didn't expect Sam to come back. And I'm glad he's okay. I am. But the minute he walked through that door, I knew. It was over. You two have the most unhealthy, tangled-up, crazy thing I've ever seen. And as long as he's in your life, you're never gonna be happy.That came out so much harsher than I meant.

Here, we have the pathologic codependency between them, but as it was written, and here's my opinion, is screaming Wincest all over, we know Sera was a fervent fan of the boys, and this doesn't surprises me. Lisa is being very hard and honest with Dean. Things are not Al right between them.

DEAN: It's not your fault.

LISA: I'm not saying don't be close to Sam. I'm close to my sister. But if she got killed, I wouldn't bring her back from the dead!

DEAN: Okay, Lis... I'm not gonna lie. Okay, me and Sam, we... we've got issues. No doubt. But you and Ben --

Here is Dean saying "Everything you had just said is truth", so more Wincest for the bag.

LISA: Me and Ben can't be in this with you. I'm sorry.

And this was the end for sure.

In this same episode, we had this scene...

Gif set credit @paladeckis

The woman is dressed in lavanda color, si, basically, is a Lisa's mirror here,asking for a lot of attention and Dean is giving her that not very hopeful answer... So yeah, Dean had decided which life he wants for him. Maybe, and as I said before, he doesn't feel he deserves a good life, or maybe because he feels like a dangerous monster that can destroy good things.

Now... Let's jump to 6x07 "Family Matters"...

There's a singular quote by the Alpha Vampire:

DEAN: I didn't realize we were on a first-name basis.

ALPHA VAMPIRE: Of course we are. After all, you were my child... for a time. Dean, tell me... did you enjoy it?

Ok, I know this is a creepy way to see it, but... Immediately after episode 6x06 we had this. And beacuse Dean is in the break up process with Lisa and Ben, this could be taken as a Dean/Ben mirror... Ben was the "monster's son" for a while, or at least that way is how Dean see it inside of him. So, symbolically, we are talking about that here.

Now... Episode 6x08 "All dogs go to Heaven" a very blantant Dean mirror with the dog-man here... First of all... Remember the monster watching in silence while the woman sleeps?? We have the same again here... The dog-man (skinwalker) his name was Lucky.

There was interesting words exchanging between Dean and Lucky, and please pay attention to Dean's speech...

DEAN: Hang on, Sam. [to LUCKY (MAN)] Listen, you don't have to tell me why you're with the family. I get it.

LUCKY (MAN): Oh, you do, do you?

DEAN: You killed every threat that came near them. You care about them, in your own whack-a-doodle kind of way. It's obvious. What I want to know is, who was that guy you were kibitzing with? He a skinwalker, too?

So... Isn't it Dean talking to himself? Do he feel like a abandoned and hurted dog that needed a refuge? A family? Now... Check this other quote...

DEAN: What are you gonna do to that family, really? You gonna put your jaws around that little boy's throat? Clamp down, listen to him cry for his mom? 'Cause I'm gonna guess that these are the only people who in your pathetic life have ever showed you any kindness. So it's either that... or you can help us stop it.

Again, the scene of Dean pushing Ben against the wall when he was about to transform into a vampire (a monster) and then... Again talking to himself. Is so blantant that my heart broke instantly...

After this, Dean decided not to shoot him bc he knew that dog was him... But things didn't end well for Lucky...

When he tries to come back to Mandy and her son, this is what happened...

MANDY: Get away from this house, you psycho. And if you ever, ever come near me or my son again, so help me...

LUCKY (MAN): I know I probably deserve...

MANDY closes and locks the door.

This is the end for the monster that wanted to have a family, the difference here is... Dean really wanted to have this kind of life?

And the answer we already know...

Gif set credit @frozen-delight

Dean is puting salt on the windows while he's saying he's out... Tell the truth Dean.

And in 6x13 "Unforgettable" Dean said another thing to his brother (to himself) to put a final period here...

DEAN: Sam, y-y-you got to understand that all that crap last year -- all of it -- none of it was you.

Ok Dean, we get it. This last year trying to be a man with a normal life and family, it wasn't you. It was a lie.

Sam's lies and foreshadowing Castiel's secrets

Before to continuó with this meta... I promised you some bi-Dean scene... Here you have.

Look how Dean checks out the police man and he even greeted him that way. As we know... Dean likes uniforms... 😉 (This gif was made by my gorgeous friend Agus!)

Ok... Let's start with the brothers here...

We all recall that scene when Sam just watched as Dean was turned into a vampire. Ok... So Dean saw it too. And that was one of his biggest alarms about his brother. This happened in episode 6x05.

In episode 6x06, another interesting parallel with the Winchesters brother and Sam's lies.

SAM: You know what a "tell" is?

OLIVIA: Excuse me?

SAM: It's a poker term... for when you're bluffing. Like what you just did with your hair.

OLIVIA: What are you trying to say?

SAM: You're lying.

DEAN is surprised at the force of SAM's inquiry.

OLIVIA: What?!

SAM: Tell us what you did to your sister.

Ok big parallel each time Dean wanted to obtain the truth about what happened with the vampire and why he didn't take care of him.

So after this we had the big scene with VERITAS, and very very WINCEST thing right here...

Gif credit @whiskeyandwhine

Look at their hands touching... Yep very disgusting and very Sera Gamble era. 😒 I'm just pointing things here for you to see what this woman wanted to do with the show.

Let's see continue now with CAS.

In this same episode we had another confession that could be analyze as a parallel and foreshadow of Castiel and his secrets.

SAM: So, you had some idea Corey might have taken her own life?

ROOMMATE: Well... she had been going through a bit of a hard time lately... at school. And then, um, her cat, Mittens, had just ran away. But, really, it was her boyfriend. She was sure that he was cheating on her. But he was just very good at covering his tracks. Which, of course, made her completely obsessed with --

Ok we are here talking about Castiel... The "boyfriend" term will be use by Balthazar twice, one with Dean and the other with Sam, referencing to Castiel. Castiel is the boyfriend, and he is cheating on Dean and Sam.

Gif credit @never-forget-viva-la-pluto

Gif set credit @sam-spirit-winchester

Also, making Balthazar calling Castiel as the Winchesters's boyfriend, equally... Another SERA GAMBLE tool, "look Cas isn't Dean's boyfriend, is Sammy's boyfriend too, so... Is irrelevant."

Episode 6x07 we had the boys discovering SAMUEL was working for Crowley, so the entire episode is a big foreshadow of what was about to happen when Dean, Sam and Bobby discover Castiel's deal with the King of Hell. And is also the episode in which the idea about Purgatory and the power of souls is presented.

And ironically, we'll have Dean and Sam literally working for Crowley too, so ... A little hole in the narrative here... But hey... We don't talk about this Season, don't we?

To conclude

Dean asked for the truth and he had it with his brother and he will have it with Castiel, the problem is... Is he ready to handle it?

The first half of the season was a foreshadow for Castiel's secret and we could see in many episodes how the writers showed us what Dean felt by leaving Ben and Lisa and how he will have to handle with a big betrayal.

In Sera Gamble era we had a lot of references to Wincest and holes in the narrative, that we will see more often in the incoming episodes.

I hope you like this! C-u in the next Chronicles!

Tagging

@magnificent-winged-beast

@emblue-sparks @weirddorkylittlediana @michyribeiro @whyjm @koshisekisen @legendary-destiel @a-bit-of-influence @thatwitchydestielfan @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @lykanyouko @evvvissticante @savannadarkbaby @angelneedshunter @trickster-archangel @dea-stiel @bre95611 @thewolfathedoor @charlottemanchmal @neii3n @deathswaywardson @followyourenergy @dean-is-bi-till-i-die @hekatelilith-blog @avidbkwrm @anarchiana @mishka-the-angel-of-saturday @dickpuncher365 @vampyrosa @xsghn @foxyroxe-art @authorsararayne @anonymoustitans @mybonsai1976 @love-neve-dies @wildligia @dustythewind @wayward-winchester67 @angelwithashotgunandtrenchcoat @trashblackrainbow @deeutdutdutdoh @destiel-is--endgame @destiel-shipper-11 @larrem88 @charmedbycastiel

If you want to be tagged, please let me know.

If you want to check the previous season 6 Chronicles, the links are here: XV, XVI, XVII, XVIII.

Buenos Aires July 11st 2019 1:47 AM

[rai-knightshade-art]

Canonverse AU Metas

(Warning: long post)

The counterpart to my last post about Mac Ever After, these are the two main metas of how Brady might join the canonverse. They're mostly the same story with minor differences between them (and one is written way more angstily than the other) but I'm including both for the sake of completeness. Also bonus Macdalton incorrect quote at the end.

Also here have a Lily Story Mac and Jack to match Brady.

Version 1:

Canon based Macgyver au idea; or, how to bring Brady into the canonverse and a proposed ending to the show itself:

Basically Nikki somehow ends up dead, for realsies this time. This obviously sucks and is super depressing for everyone, but more pressing at the moment is that she apparently had a kid, a son named Brayden (nicknamed Brady). And to Mac's utter confusion, HE is listed as Brady's godfather/next of kin in case anything should happen to her. This confusion is cleared up pretty abruptly when Brady shows up at the Phoenix with Mac's blue eyes, Nikki's hair and nose and a penchant for taking things apart to look at them (aka there's less "godfather" to his role and more just. Straight father). They bond and Mac sets to work caring for his kid, with the assistance of the Phoenix team (Jack is a remarkably adept babysitter... When Brady decides not to escape. Luckily Mac is an escape Master and always knows how and when the kid gets out). Eventually though Mac realizes that juggling Phoenix and Brady... Isn't going to work. He has to pick one of the other, and he knows in his heart that the choice will always be Brady. He tries to announce this to the rest of the team only to find that they'd already realized that this couldn't go on forever and that he'd always choose his son first, and reveal that they all have contingency plans for when he decides to leave. Riley is going to stay with the Phoenix, working with the other computer nerds almost exclusively and helping Leanna with her missions. Bozer is going back into movie making, still dating Leanna and always leaving his door open if the Phoenix needs any prosthetics (he and Leanna get Mac's house). Matty is staying as Director of course, and working on putting together another flagship team (not as good as theirs, but still plenty competent). And Jack? Well, Jack figures now is as good a time as any to retire completely from this life. His new home? Wherever Mac decides to go with Brady, whether that's still LA, Mission City, Boston, etc. Where Mac goes, he's sure to follow. It's at this point that Mac, somewhat sheepishly and probably a little tearfully, admits that he wants to raise Brady on the Dalton Ranch.

And that's how Bozer becomes a well-known effects man with a secret agent wife, Riley becomes the lead hacker at Phoenix, Matty eventually becomes Oversight, and Mac and Jack raise a kid in Texas.

Bonus:

Jack: *steps out of a yellow taxi, Mac by his side, little Brady hidden behind them, to see Mama Dalton waiting for them*

Jack: Mama!

Mama Dalton: Jack Jr! You finally come to your senses and decide you better come home and give me grandchildren?

Jack: *sheepishly* Well Mama, about that...

*Both men step aside to reveal Brady, who shyly hugs his Dad's leg*

Mac: Mama, this is Brayden Macgyver.... My son.

Mama Dalton: *coos over the little boy* Well hello there Brayden, I'm Mary Dalton, and I'm Jack's mama. You can call me Me-ma if you'd like though...

Version 2:

The Canonverse + Brady au:

Ok so basically Nikki got pregnant after that last night with Mac before they busted Thornton, but she didn't tell him because she knew he'd drop everything for the kid and she wanted him to continue his work at Phoenix. She raises Brady on her own for a few years, possibly still with the CIA but maybe not in the field as much, but something goes wrong and she's killed when Brady's 5 (because parallels). Mac and Jack are informed by Matty (because Mac hasn't been in contact with Nikki in years) and Matty has to break the news that Nikki had a son and that she's named Mac the father (possibly using pictures of Brady that Jack sees and immediately recognizes as being spitting images of Mac as a young boy). Brady's brought to Mac at the Phoenix and Mac just kinda,,, breaks? Because Brady asks if he's his Daddy and reveals that Nikki had told him about Mac, shown him pictures, but told him that while Mac loved him he wouldn't get to see him unless she had to leave, and well... It's just a super emotional moment and leads to Mac embracing his son for the first time and promising fervently that he'd never, EVER let him go. It's at this moment that everyone knows that this is the end of the team, cause there's no way in hell Mac's gonna keep putting his life at risk when he's got Brady.

("Why didn't she tell me?!?!" "Because she knew the same thing I know, hoss: as soon as you found out about this kid you'd have quit the team for him." "*Spluttering* I wouldn't-" "Angus, look me in the eyes and tell me truthfully that had you found out Nikki was pregnant that you wouldn't have dropped everything for her and the kid." "....*silence*" "That's what I thought. And that's why she loved you, that's why I love you now, but she and I both know that the world has needed you these past few years, Mac. Now though... Now the world could live without you, if it needed to.")

At some point James sees this and finally realizes that he fucked up, has a bit of a breakdown and Jack talks to him.

("My pop always told me that it's never too late to say you're sorry and mean it. But another wise man once told me that sorry doesn't fix everything, it just starts the conversation. And right now that man needs all the help he can get, especially from a dad who knows how 5-year-old Macgyvers work; I only know how 12-year-old Riley's work, man, I'm not gonna be much help here.")

(This is a lie, Jack is plenty of help, especially when Mac says he wants to retire to the Dalton Ranch, and even more especially when Brady stops calling him Jack and starts calling him Papa. Mama Dalton is Mema from the get go and welcomes the kid with open arms.)

And that's how Mac and Jack retire to the ranch, probably James in tow, with the rest of the crew visiting frequently. Eventually Riley sets up shop in the area (possibly with Billy because him cheating seemed really out of character), and Bozer becomes famous as a filmmaker and sets up his own Skywalker Ranch on some annexed land. Matty visits on occasion, more often when she finally retires. Mac goes on maybe one more mission (like, a world-is-literally-ending-and-ONLY-mac-can-stop-it type of mission) and everyone else helps from the Ranch/takes care of Brady so he can come back to his kid without worrying. Not sure what to do about Murdoc, maybe he stays locked up, maybe he dies (though that would kinda suck for Cassian, maybe he dies and they adopt Cassian too? Ooooo that could be good actually). Later on they might also adopt a little girl, maybe one of Brady's classmates who lost her family and has nowhere else to go (two soldiers with abandonment issues know how THAT feels and could deal with nightmares that she'd have after the trauma). And they just. Create their own happy little life on the Ranch. And it's nice. James learns how to be a proper parent and grandparent, possibly with some help from Mama Dalton. Mac and Jack get married sometime after Brady starts calling Jack Papa (he asked at one point if Mac and Jack were dating, and if so why Jack wasn't Papa or Dad too, which led to a conversation about it and Jack's official elevation to Papa status). Brady was the flower boy and ring bearer combined. All of Jack's Deltas came and adopted Brady on sight. In general everything is beautiful and nothing hurts.

Bonus quote:

Snippet from canonverse:

Mac: *is about to get hella shot*

Jack: *shows up out of the blue right on time* hey babe sorry I'm late *shoots down two goons* traffic was a bitch man you know how it is *shoots three more goons*

Mac: .....I love you,,, so much